Why always winning leads to losing

A ‘win at all costs’ attitude is unsustainable in the long-term. Bethany Ayers from Peak shows us why.

Back in February, Sales Confidence staged another one of its exclusive events for sales leaders, at the Andaz Hotel in Liverpool Street. As always, we were treated to deep insights from a world-class line-up. Based on these talks, we put together some articles, so even if you couldn’t be there, you can still get inspired.

Bethany Ayers

Bethany Ayers is Chief Customer Officer at Peak, creating a structure that provides everyone with the tools and support they need to deliver great customer experiences. This encompasses all customer-facing teams, including data science, customer success, marketing and sales.

In her talk, Bethany was very open with us about her backstory.

‘This is my journey from being not a nice person to a nicer person. I hope you can maybe learn some things along the way.’

Bethany’s story

If you work in sales, you know what a competitive environment it is. For Bethany, it caused her to develop a ‘win at all costs’ mentality, where the only way she could feel good was to be better than everyone else.

‘I viewed the world as a zero-sum game. So if I won, you lost.’

That was fine for a while because everything Bethany touched turned to gold. However, after a disastrous board meeting with her new chairman (watch the video to find out exactly what happened), everything changed.

Bethany realised that if she carried on with this mentality, she would end up lonely and miserable. So, she took steps to change things.

Here are three techniques Bethany began to employ in her life to improve her outlook.

1 — Find your confidence

‘You need to be able to feel pretty good about yourself to start looking at the things you don’t like.’

Take time to get to know yourself. Have some introspection and admit to yourself that there are things that could be improved. However, do it from a good place, knowing that you’re a decent person who wants to be even better.

2 — Be vulnerable

One of the things Bethany learned early in her journey was that it’s OK to show vulnerability. You don’t have to put up a front. Vulnerability helps you make connections. It shows you’re human.

‘Making connections with other people is important. The more successful you become, the lonelier it can be. Loneliness increases your chances of premature death by 30%.’

If you’re a sales leader, be vulnerable with your team. If your nervous about something, say so. The outpouring of support you’ll receive will build your confidence and make you stronger.

3 — Positive self-talk

‘Would you speak to a loved one the way you speak to yourself?’

Don’t let your inner critic sabotage you. Talk to yourself with kindness.

Be aware of how you criticise yourself in your head, and try to stop it. Be kind to yourself, accept your flaws, forgive yourself and move on.

Over to you

Thanks to Bethany for such an enlightening talk.

Now, I want to know what you think.

Have you ever been in a situation in your career when you’ve decided you need to change your outlook?

What did you do?

What do you do now to be a better person, while still performing at the highest level?

Let the Sales Confidence community know with a comment.

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